Hue to Hoi An

                Because the Canadians had limited time we jumped off the bus in Hue (just one of them as the other had fairly seriously injured himself in a motorbike crash some weeks earlier and wasn’t going on the trip….reassuring) and proceeded to rent bikes and hit the road right away.

                It was a really beautiful ride up over a winding mountain pass and even better was light on local traffic as a tunnel had recently been built as an alternate route for big trucks and car traffic. Big trucks are by far the most harrowing part of driving cross-country in Vietnam as they tend to be completely batshit insane with no qualms of passing their slower compatriots going around blind corners even if they have to run a couple motorbikes off the road in the process. The reasoning being apparently something like, ‘Hey I honked didn’t I and besides I’m bigger than you so suck it.” So that was nice not having to deal with that, except for the odd one or two loaded with explosives or live animals anyway. Halfway up the pass we did get hit with a sudden torrential rainstorm which was less than pleasant as we had no ponchos or anything but it cleared pretty quick and we still got some nice views at the top of the pass and saw some Vietnam War era bunkers. Cruised down the other side and through the town of Danang on our way to Hoi An. Driving through the cities is always a bit hair-raising with all the motorbikes in a giant ceaseless pack and uncontrolled intersections and roundabouts where it’s basically just every man, woman and child for themselves. Made it through safe and sound and had a nice cruise down a wide, 4-lane beautiful coastal road to arrive happy and satisfied in Hoi An. Really a great way to see the country.

                Hoi An is a beautiful beach and river side town with a fun vibe where it’s, apparently, pretty much eternally happy hour and the bars compete with each other by perpetually giving out free shots of cheap whisky. What’s not to like? Spent the first day chilling out at the beach and having a swim and then met a nice Danish and English fellow and we rented bikes the next day for a cruise up to nearby Marble Mountain. Was a pretty cool little temple complex and you could scramble up to the highest point for a stunning 360 degree view. All in all a fun day and great weather.

                 

 

                  Unfortunately the next few days turned out to be extremely wet and unlike the usual heavy but brief rains I’ve come to expect from time to time this was an unending multi-day torrent that had the river over its banks and encroaching onto nearby streets and led to thoughts that maybe building an ark isn’t such a dumb idea. Still got to enjoy the town’s awesome food and fun nightlife (and far too many free shots) and met a bunch of cool people. Met an Australian lad I’d seen previously in Hanoi and we agreed to split a room in the beach resort town of Nha Trang further down the coast. 

Cat Ba Island and Halong Bay

               Finally managed to get enough escape velocity despite all the extremely late nights of going out and traveled to Cat Ba island near Halong Bay with a cool Dutch fella and Quebecois guy. Pretty laid back little island with some good scenery and we spent a day exploring it on rented motorbikes followed by a steep climb to a lookout in the national forest. Very nice. The next day we went on a little cruise around Halong Bay which is studded with limestone cliffs and full of little aquaculture fish farms. Pretty crazy how many people, not to mention dogs, seem to live on these little rafts on an at least semi-permanent basis. Did a bit of kayaking through some limestone caverns which was quite fun and scenic. The last stop was ‘Monkey Island’ which consisted of a beach and a handful of extremely aggressive and angry little monkeys who were far too acclimated to and unafraid of humans to feel safe around. I got to see first hand the scene where a couple other travelers I’d previously met had suffered the fate of getting monkey bitten and having to get a series of rabies shots. The alpha monkey stared at me with a ‘fuck you’ look in his beady little eyes and then proceeded to charge full pelt right at me. Exciting stuff. Luckily I called his bluff (sort of, I was backed up against the sea so didn’t really have anywhere to retreat to) and he veered off at the last second. So basically a half hour of watching them chase tourists around the beach. Amusing when it was other people they were going after. They seem to also have mastered the art of pull tabs as they could open a beer and drink it with ease. Crazy goddamned monkeys.

                The other boys went off on their own ways while I stuck around for a couple of extremely uneventful days reading at the beach. Pretty quiet in the nightlife department on Cat Ba though I did meet this one creepy Aussie guy who within about 3 minutes of chatting invited me to go get a hooker with him. Yeah, no thanks buddy and by the way that’s not weird at all.

                Finally made my way back to Hanoi and re-met up with some Canadian guys on of whom was keen on doing a motorcycle ride between cities that I’d heard good things about. So we booked a bus to Hue for the next day and were off.

Hanoi

Good Morning Vietnam!!!!! I was somehow the only Westerner on the bus to Hanoi, but luckily it wasn’t at all full so I got a double sleeper seat (extra room, near full recline) all to myself rather than having to snuggle up next to a local. Was surprisingly comfortable but for once I was glad not to be any taller than I am; suck it Dutch people! Of course the bus was actually early for once which meant arriving in the dark at 4:30 in the morning alone. Things you don’t see on the morning commute in America: guy on a motorbike driving along with two gutted pig carcasses across his lap. So after fending off the motorbike “taxi” guys, “No take taxi! Taxi mafia!” I managed to find a taxi whose driver of course absolutely refused to turn on the meter and haggle him down to a reasonable for alone at 4:30 in the morning price to get to the hostel and grab some shut-eye. Phew, it’s hot again. Time to explore the city and do a little shopping for random stuff like shaving cream and a new belt.

Some fun nightlife in Hanoi, though I think the sampling of 6 different types of random late night street food might not have been the best idea. Met a bunch of friendly local middle-class seeming Vietnamese with decent English who wanted to hang and go out with us. Was quite entertaining. Laughing as they made everyone try the ridiculously strong local tobacco which you smoke out of a giant bamboo bong which seems to cause the sweats and uncontrollable coughing in those not accustomed to it. Weather turned a bit shit today, so good day to take it easy and hopefully it’ll clear up tomorrow for me to walk around the city and see all the museum stuff before heading for Halong Bay in the near future.

                So, ended up spending quite some time in Hanoi partying and meeting new people. I ended up staying at this huge backpackers hostel that was chock full of keen-to-get-wild young Brits and Aussies (among other nationalities). Definitely can’t quite keep up with the 18-21 year olds these days but it’s fun trying. The hostel threw a crazy fun Halloween party as well. Lots of good nightlife and local street food to be had in Hanoi as well as street lining rows of tables and chairs where they serve local homebrews for about 25 cents a glass. Not the best tasting beer but the price is right anyway. Unfortunately Hanoi as the capital actually has a curfew, which means technically street side cafes are supposed to be done at 11 I think and bars by midnight. Additionally there’s apparently a new police chief in charge who’s trying to set a tone by more vigorously enforcing the rule. So there’s this very interesting phenomenon whereby police trucks start cruising around at night screaming at the locals from megaphones mounted on the vehicle. A local Vietnamese friend I met said that the translation is somewhere along the lines of, “Go the fuck home!” Anyway, so the funny thing is this weird pantomime type thing happens where the local proprietors will just turn of their lights as the police come by shouting and then will turn them right back on again as soon as they’re past. Also of course some clubs and bars seem to be exempt on some nights. So there will be like 20 people sitting outside and the owner sees the cops coming, shuts off all the lights and shushes everyone and then right back to business as usual. It’s obviously not fooling anyone but seems to work for at least an extra hour or so past the official curfew when the cops start getting serious and threatening to seize stuff from the café, kebab seller or club. Weird, right?

I met a hilarious German guy who had been working in Hanoi and some of his students from the university came out with us one night. Really interesting getting their perspective on things.The girls were kind of bemoaning how conservative Vietnam is in regards to relations between the sexes and how there’s a huge double standard in regards to this attitude with men versus women. Any funny business pre-marriage for the ladies apparently means you’re spoiled goods but the reverse isn’t true. Go figure. They were also asking me what they teach and we learn about the Vietnam War in America. Met and interacted with quite a few locals in Hanoi actually. These guys stopped me and an Korean-American girl I was walking with in the street once and I was expecting some kind of sale pitch scam right away but they were students doing some project and wanted to ask us some questions and take our pictures. Was really good actually, I like meeting other backpackers from all over the world but it’s great to get to know locals and much harder generally. Though a pretty failsafe rule in SE Asia for going out at night and finding the popular local spots is to just find the nearest karaoke bar.

                Did quite a bit of wandering around, honing my street crossing skills in the madness of motorbike traffic and visited a colonial era French prison where they had tried to suppress Vietnamese nationalism with charming methods such as indefinite solitary in small cages and an honest-to-god guillotine. Wonder why the Vietnamese kicked them out? It also featured in a glass display what was alleged to be John McCain’s flight suit along with a picture of him being captured after his plane went down. So that was interesting. Unfortunately Ho Chi Minh’s preserved body was out touring the world or having a play date with Lenin or something so there was no point going to the Mausoleum. Too bad too, as I would have liked to see it. 

Sapa, Vietnam

 

             There were enough of us that we were able to charter a private boat for not significantly more money than the local one but instead of being crammed in and sitting on hard wooden benches for four hours we got a boat with awesomely reclining car seats that had been mounted there and so spent the time comfortably, watching the scenery and water buffalo pass by. Spent the night in a seedy town near the border and then proceeded to spend the next 24 or so hours traveling in variously uncomfortable buses. The last leg was the longest and most uncomfortable, driving at night on a shitty, curvy road where as you tried to sleep were constantly being awakened by the turns threatening to pull you out of your seat and into the bus aisle which was being occupied by a bunch of locals. Yeah, not great and for some reason the bus left at a time where it arrived in Sapa at about 4:30 in the morning so we wandered around in the dark, exhausted, freezing and looking for a place to sleep. Awoke to a much changed from the night Sapa and discovered I was in a beautiful mountain town perched on the slopes overlooking a valley of terraced bamboo fields. Very interesting vibe, with pine trees side by side with giant bamboo and jungle and a feeling at times of being in some small town in the French Alps or somewhere. Took a bit to get used to actually being a bit cold in the mornings and evenings but quite a pleasant change. It even snows here in the winter amazingly enough. Vietnam’s highest mountain, Fansipan, is nearby and the town is full of “North Face” shops selling winter clothes, hiking gear and trekking poles to the older couples that seem at least as numerous as the backpacker crowd. Lots of local villages and ethnic minority tribes such as the H’Mong abound and all of them seem to want to sell you something. The being mobbed by locals took some getting used to after laid-back Laos, but I suppose that just comes with the territory. “Hello? Where you from? What your name? Shopping? You buy from me?” was a pretty much endless litany walking around, not to mention the “Motorbike? You come to my bar? Buy weed?” Split a room with a cool Belgian guy an equally nice, though young, Dutch mate that I’d traveled with from Laos

  We went on a hike down the valley without a guide and were just mobbed by local H’Mong trying to sell us stuff. If it hadn’t been so annoying after a while I would have been impressed with their sheer optimism and persistence. These three women followed us for literally 5km before finally giving up even after being repeatedly told by an increasingly angry Dutchman to stop following us and leave us alone. The only effect this seemed to have was that they’d follow from a bit further distance for a couple minutes. The scenery was great though and we probably walked somethink like 20 km in total. Kind of amusing, we decided finally to cross the river and start heading back on the other side and made our way down to a small bamboo bridge we’d spotted. Arriving there we found it was guarded by a small and slightly evil looking Vietnamese girl blocking the way with arms crossed (we were at this point still being tailed by a different group of women) who apparently wanted money from us for the privilege of crossing. So in an attempt to avoid paying as well as lose our pursuers we walked some yards upriver took off our shoes and socks and just forded it. Ha. Spent some time checking out the very restrained and mostly quiet nightlife; kind of eerie walking through the town at night as it gets extremely misty and foggy and low visibility. Also rode motorbikes to a local cave where we were again mobbed by locals but enjoyed ourselves nevertheless. Thought the Dutch guy was going to blow his top at these kids who insisted on escorting us through the cave but it worked out okay in the end. The Laos group all headed to Hanoi/Halong Bay but I stuck around for a few more days and met some cool Brits and a Scottish girl and we again rented motorbikes and did another really great hike on the other side of the valley. One scary moment as I came within inches of running over a kitten that darted across the trail but luckily missed. Would have felt quite guilty I think. Had a nice massage and some good local pumpkin soup and have been enjoying the cool weather and lack of mosquitos. One of the Brits was obsessed one night with finding a meal of snake, cooked in traditional Vietnamese style of killed in front of you, eating the still beating heart and bile duct and drinking the blood. (Unf)ortunately the place was closed, but apparently it’s on offer in Hanoi along with a nice dinner of dog or horse. Yum. Off to madhouse and hectic Hanoi tonight for a few days of city life and then I think on to Halong bay and maybe a boat tour of some of the islands and then make my way down the coast headed in the general direction of Cambodia.