Sapa, Vietnam

 

             There were enough of us that we were able to charter a private boat for not significantly more money than the local one but instead of being crammed in and sitting on hard wooden benches for four hours we got a boat with awesomely reclining car seats that had been mounted there and so spent the time comfortably, watching the scenery and water buffalo pass by. Spent the night in a seedy town near the border and then proceeded to spend the next 24 or so hours traveling in variously uncomfortable buses. The last leg was the longest and most uncomfortable, driving at night on a shitty, curvy road where as you tried to sleep were constantly being awakened by the turns threatening to pull you out of your seat and into the bus aisle which was being occupied by a bunch of locals. Yeah, not great and for some reason the bus left at a time where it arrived in Sapa at about 4:30 in the morning so we wandered around in the dark, exhausted, freezing and looking for a place to sleep. Awoke to a much changed from the night Sapa and discovered I was in a beautiful mountain town perched on the slopes overlooking a valley of terraced bamboo fields. Very interesting vibe, with pine trees side by side with giant bamboo and jungle and a feeling at times of being in some small town in the French Alps or somewhere. Took a bit to get used to actually being a bit cold in the mornings and evenings but quite a pleasant change. It even snows here in the winter amazingly enough. Vietnam’s highest mountain, Fansipan, is nearby and the town is full of “North Face” shops selling winter clothes, hiking gear and trekking poles to the older couples that seem at least as numerous as the backpacker crowd. Lots of local villages and ethnic minority tribes such as the H’Mong abound and all of them seem to want to sell you something. The being mobbed by locals took some getting used to after laid-back Laos, but I suppose that just comes with the territory. “Hello? Where you from? What your name? Shopping? You buy from me?” was a pretty much endless litany walking around, not to mention the “Motorbike? You come to my bar? Buy weed?” Split a room with a cool Belgian guy an equally nice, though young, Dutch mate that I’d traveled with from Laos

  We went on a hike down the valley without a guide and were just mobbed by local H’Mong trying to sell us stuff. If it hadn’t been so annoying after a while I would have been impressed with their sheer optimism and persistence. These three women followed us for literally 5km before finally giving up even after being repeatedly told by an increasingly angry Dutchman to stop following us and leave us alone. The only effect this seemed to have was that they’d follow from a bit further distance for a couple minutes. The scenery was great though and we probably walked somethink like 20 km in total. Kind of amusing, we decided finally to cross the river and start heading back on the other side and made our way down to a small bamboo bridge we’d spotted. Arriving there we found it was guarded by a small and slightly evil looking Vietnamese girl blocking the way with arms crossed (we were at this point still being tailed by a different group of women) who apparently wanted money from us for the privilege of crossing. So in an attempt to avoid paying as well as lose our pursuers we walked some yards upriver took off our shoes and socks and just forded it. Ha. Spent some time checking out the very restrained and mostly quiet nightlife; kind of eerie walking through the town at night as it gets extremely misty and foggy and low visibility. Also rode motorbikes to a local cave where we were again mobbed by locals but enjoyed ourselves nevertheless. Thought the Dutch guy was going to blow his top at these kids who insisted on escorting us through the cave but it worked out okay in the end. The Laos group all headed to Hanoi/Halong Bay but I stuck around for a few more days and met some cool Brits and a Scottish girl and we again rented motorbikes and did another really great hike on the other side of the valley. One scary moment as I came within inches of running over a kitten that darted across the trail but luckily missed. Would have felt quite guilty I think. Had a nice massage and some good local pumpkin soup and have been enjoying the cool weather and lack of mosquitos. One of the Brits was obsessed one night with finding a meal of snake, cooked in traditional Vietnamese style of killed in front of you, eating the still beating heart and bile duct and drinking the blood. (Unf)ortunately the place was closed, but apparently it’s on offer in Hanoi along with a nice dinner of dog or horse. Yum. Off to madhouse and hectic Hanoi tonight for a few days of city life and then I think on to Halong bay and maybe a boat tour of some of the islands and then make my way down the coast headed in the general direction of Cambodia.

Luang Prabang; Nong Kiaw (Laos)

                Our Vang Viene group all went their separate ways and I headed off alone for the Luang Prabang on the bank of the Mekong River in Northern Laos. It’s a pretty, mid-sized town with some temples, great fruit shakes and the requisite waterfall. In our tuk tuk on the way back from the waterfall came across the immediate aftermath of a fairly bad motorbike accident. Looked like a helmetless local fella going too fast went flying off the road into a ditch. We stopped to see if the cops needed us to give him a lift back to civilization and I got a disturbing view as someone lifted his leg. Yuck, ouch and slightly nightmare inducing. At least temporarily dampened my enthusiasm for riding bikes. Did lots of hanging out, a bit of swimming and rope swinging, and played some volleyball with the locals at a chilled out local bar called Utopia. Quite funny, Laos has a midnight curfew so all the bars close at 11:30 but for some reason the local nightclub/disco stays open till like 1:30 so everyone seems to go there after the bars. Booming loud music and about 80 percent locals to 20 percent tourists. They seemed rather, understandably, amused by all the Falang (foreigners) wearing hippie clothes and dancing around crazily. Then after the disco closes everyone moves venues to the town’s bowling alley which stays open till 3AM or later and drinks local Lao Lao whisky and bowls. Random but really quite fun. So did that a few nights, at times followed by the even later night hangout on some steps down by the Mekong. Finally had enough though and onwards to Nong Kiaw a small village even further north towards the Chinese/Vietnamese border region.

                    Arrived from Luang Prabang and immediately realized this would indeed be a relaxing and quiet departure from the previous week’s partying. A really tiny village where the chickens seemed to outnumber the residents. A fact attested to by the constant, noisy crowing of the roosters. I ordered chicken constantly at the nearby restaurants in hopes the one that kept waking me up early every morning would be on the menu, but no luck. Had a great little bungalow right on the river though and met some nice people early on. Did a bit of trekking to nearby caves where the locals sheltered during the relentless bombing campaign of the US “secret war” in Laos. The Ho Chi Minh trail apparently ran nearby and lots of local places have repurposed the unexploded bombs (after being professionally disarmed presumably) into nice decorations and lamps. Rented mountain bikes with a Dutch guy and girl and rode through some of the nearby villages. They obviously don’t see especially many tourists as we attracted attention everywhere we went and I ended up saying Saibadee (hello/goodbye) to what seemed like hundreds of local children. Stopped at the river near by one village and had a swim in the river where there were about 30 naked local kids happily splashing about, doing flips and cartwheels and rolling around in the dirt. They seemed intensely curious about us and eager to impress and by the end they’d stopped playing and were just in a big circle around the three of us staring intently. Guess that’s what it feels like to be on the other side. Really liked remote Laos though, everyone is so friendly and it seems genuine and unrelated to them seeing you as a big wallet and none of the kids beg or ask for money. Not much of a nightlife but we’d go out for good food and drink the local home brewed whisky which came in glass bottles filled with local herbs and pieces of wood and other random stuff. It’s actually not terrible tasting for how strong it is. Lots of relaxing, chilling in the hammock on my balcony overlooking the river and reading was a nice change of pace. Met a bunch of people who were trying to get to Sapa in Northwest Vietnam same as me and we decided to charter a boat and travel together.

Vang Viene

     

             I arrived in Vang Viene scant months after the government decided to put the kibosh on the wild Spring Break style madness that predominated and centered around tubing down the river and stopping at multiple bars for lots of drinking and drugs. The place had a bit of a ghost party town feel with far too many guesthouses and banana-chocolate pancake munchies stands for how many people were there. Opinions on why the government decided to crack down vary but common themes were various embassies complaining about the deaths of their citizens (30 some tourist fatalities a year) by drowning, overdose and jumping off of things into shallow, rocky waters and the fact that Laos is hosting some European-Asian tourist summit and the fact of Vang Viene and its reputation leading to a possible ‘loss of face’ (to be avoided at all costs by Asians obviously). Regardless, I wasn’t too bothered by missing out on the scene really, I’m not 21 anymore after all, and the landscape was still beautiful with limestone karsts (cliffs) surrounding the town and picturesque rice paddies. I had re-met the American boys from Pai on the bus and we ended up sharing a room, which was nice. They’re rock-climbing enthusiasts and had all their equipment with them and were nice enough to take me and the Argentinian and South African climbing on nearby cliffs one day. Was an amazing and exhilarating experience though actually quite terrifying. I was involuntarily shaking a bit as I climbed up this cliff face, already perched halfway up a mountain and had to be reassured multiple times that, “yes, that rope will actually hold you if you do fall and you won’t plunge to your death, promise.” Made it to the top and indeed did feel a bit more confident as I finally let go and let it hold my weight to be safely lowered to the ground. Also got to be the person on belay duty and feel the thrill of holding another man’s life in some clips around my waist. So yeah, really cool of them to take us up and a lot of fun.

                We actually did go tubing, getting together a decent sized group and our own drinks. Was laid-back but still rather pleasant and fun. There actually was still one bar open the first day we went and we stopped there for some drinks with a wild and drunken Contiki tour group. However, two days later we went again and the bar had been raided by the police the previous day and was all boarded up and the steps up to it from the river and been smashed into kindling. I, somewhat morbidly, suggested they should actually give tubing ghost tours down the river to make up the lost income from tubing being shut down. There were all these burned down bars, derelict giant slides, cut rope swings and abandoned mud tug-of-war pits along the river. “Six Brits on ‘gap year’ lost their lives going off this slide, if you listen closely you still hear their drunken cries. Nearby locals sometimes report seeing the incredibly mellow and relaxed ghost of the Canadian who took too much opium, missed the bridge where you’re supposed to get off the river and floated serenely on until plunging off the waterfall to his death.” Some of the bars still have a special “happy menu” with weed/mushroom pizza and shakes or opium tea on offer though the police seem now to be supplementing their income by finding people smoking on the streets or by the river and charging them $500 dollars to avoid going to jail. Met a few people with that story. I had been drinking a bit one night and saw some Aussie guy I’d met previously having a pizza, so started talking to him a bit and being incredibly hungry at the time quickly and unthinkingly accepted the half of his mushroom pizza he no longer wanted. That turned into an interesting night to say the least. There was some local carnival in town and I have vague impressions of being in a bumper car with psychedelic lights driving around being chased around by laughing locals. Let’s see, also did a little cave exploring, saw a gigantic spider, and swam in a lagoon. Rented some of the local bikes, which are one-speed and incredibly rickety and not good on hills. Was extremely hot and so of course we were riding around shirtless but apparently part of the “new” Vang Viene was enforcement of rules about wearing shirts as we got stopped at a police checkpoint and told to put ours back on. I’ll never understand how a culture of modesty developed in a place so damned hot. Seems like everyone would be more comfortable going with a National Geographic Africa style. Oh well, when in Rome I guess. 

                   Some funny stories: was standing outside the hostel one day and this Western girl comes flying down the street on a motorbike screaming, “HELP!!! HELP!!!! How do I stop?!” She did actually eventually figure it out before crashing to the amusement and sarcastic applause of the locals. There were quite a few prostitutes out and about at night there, including some lady boys who seemed unclear on the normal hand movements for massages as they were offering them but making a jerk-off motion. Some Israeli guy actually brought a prostitute back to the hostel but his friend apparently had the room key as he seemed to be hinting that he’d sure appreciate if he could use someone’s room. Predictably there were no takers on that offer and when we came back to the hostel a bit later he was in a hammock doing something, likely unspeakable, with her. Finally decided I’d had enough of Vang Viene and cleared out northwards to the town of Luang Prabang.

Pai

Wow, just realized how remiss I’ve been keeping this thing up to date. I think I still remember this far back. Well, here goes nothing. Pai is an amazing little mountain town with lots of cool stuff to see and do in addition to the requisite just lounging around relaxing by the pool. It has a very hippy, laid-back vibe. Incidentally it’s also a good place to recover from the terrible unpleasantness of bedbugs which I seemed to have been ravaged by in Chang Mai. I had probably 50 bites running along my upper back and down both arms. Incredibly itchy and unsightly but found a place with an actual hot dryer for my clothes, they apparently didn’t manage to infect my bag and after a few days the itching and bumps receded. Met some great people at the guesthouse I stayed at: some American boys, Canadian girls, a French and Austrian girl, and cool Argentinian and South African mates. Lots of local Sangsom whisky and the killer local version of Redbull which seems to contain crack and leads to brutal hangovers involved. The town is small enough that everyone seems to end up at the same bars and it was a lot of fun; our group even started a spontaneous Conga line that sucked in the whole bar at one point. No curfews and one of the bars stays open till quite late with decent music and fun dancing. I rented a motorbike for most of my time there and spent days cruising around to local waterfalls, a canyon and some hot springs. Decided to find the “Secret Hot Springs” on my own one day and ended up on this horrendously bad and muddy road which was a serious challenge on a moped. Got covered in sticky mud but met some local kids who amused by my plight kind of helped me out and then led me to the hot springs and had a swim with me where we tried to communicate without a common language. Was actually quite fun; I always like authentic, non-commercial interactions with locals. My second to last day I met this girl who was taking a Muay Thai course and went with her and a local guy with an awesome, enviable afro to a couple local sights. Good times. Loved Pai and could easily have spent a month there but alas my Thai Visa was near to expiring and I decided it was time to move on to Vang Viene in Laos, home of the recently defunct but previously infamous tubing.